Many of the men in our church have embarked on a study of marriage. The goal is to eventually determine a framework for the biblical process whereby the unmarried become married. Various terms for this are courtship, betrothal, or engagement. We are studying the Scripture with a desire to limit extra-biblical influences. All of us have opinions and cultural backgrounds. We aren’t necessarily rejecting these, but trying to find the scriptural principles. We hope to apply these in wisdom so that each of our children begin their married lives with the Lord’s richest blessing.
The plan at this point is to study first the purpose for marriage – why did God make it? What’s it for? Then to study preparation – how the unmarried might be prepared for a blessed marriage. How are parents to train and prepare their children. Finally, we’ll look at the biblical process whereby a prepared, unmarried man and woman may become married. How do they find each other? What relationship is proper before the wedding?
Here are my summary notes on purpose. Several of us searched the scripture independently, then we discussed our findings on a Sunday afternoon. Here’s the summary of what I took away from our meeting.
Purpose for Marriage
God initially created Adam/Man as a single person. The Man was single – he was alone. Man was good, but his aloneness was not good. God then intentionally took the Woman out of the Man. Marriage is the action by which two alone people join together in a holy companionship that is so complete and so deep that the two become a single flesh.
The separation of the woman from man and their rejoining in marriage is not an after thought by God. It is His intentional action to show His glory in a unique way. The mystery of marriage whereby two become one gives insight into the nature of Christ’s relationship to His church. It may also reveal some of the mystery of the Trinity, where 3 distinct Persons are so profoundly united that Theirs is a single Essence and Nature. It allows for the deepest possible human love in a companionship where man and woman are thrilled with one another.
As two become one flesh, fruitfulness is the natural result. Children come into the family, surrounded by the love present in the thrilling companionship of father and mother. Together the family subdues and rules the earth. The man provides for and protects his wife and family. The woman is his helper, bearing children, tending the home. In a home of purpose, work, love, and joy, children thrive and mature to follow their parent’s calling, expand the work of God, and surpass the parent’s righteousness.
Scriptures on the purpose of marriage, supporting this summary:
· Companionship, helper for man Gen 2:18-23, Mal 2:14-16
· Male/Female distinct, yet united portray God’s image (Gen 1:26-28)
(Gen 2: 22-24) Women from man (distinct), so must re-unite w/ Man as one flesh for completion, fruitfulness
· Fruitfulness, godly offspring taking dominion Gen 1:26-28,Lev 21:13-15, Jer 29:6, Mal 2:14-16
· Happiness of bride Deu 24:5, Song of Solomon
· Happiness of husband Prov 5:18, Song of Solomon 4:9-10
· Husband’s crown, Lord’s favor; Husband receives God’s blessing in his wife
Prov 12:4, Prov 18:22
· Prophetic message to God’s people Hosea 1:2
· To meet need of a non-eunuch Matt 19:3-12, even one w/ impeccable self-control?
· To avoid sexual immorality 1 Cor 7:2-9
· To satisfy a man’s longing for a beautiful woman – Deut 21:10-14
· Authority, legal protection for wife. Numbers 30
· Place of rest (comfort, stability, protection) for the wife – Ruth 1:8-9
· Displays Christ/Church relationship Rev 19:6-9
Remarriage purpose
· To “establish a name” for a deceased husband Deu 25:5-7, Ruth 4:10, Matt 22:24-33, Luke 20:28-34
· David/Abigail – reason unclear, merely David taking opportunity to marry a godly woman? David feels responsible for her after she’s widowed? 1Sam 25:32-42
· Resolve woman’s sensual desires – marry; bear children; keep house 1 Tim 5:11-14